Living with Grief

Had he lived today would be my dad’s 79th birthday.  To say that I would desperately love to be executing a birthday party plan today is in no way an understatement. My dad came to know Christ late in his life.  It is on days like today that I most think about the day I lost him.

There are things in life for which you cannot ever be truly prepared.  Losing someone you love is just such a circumstance. I remember an old preacher telling me that it is not until “the pushes of life come that you find out what truly resides on the inside of someone.”  My dad’s death was one of those “pushes” placed upon my life.

After I received the phone call breaking the terrible news I had an hour drive to reflect on my relationship with my dad.  We had become extremely close in my adulthood.  So much so that I remember grieving most for the loss of my best friend.  I remembered many wonderful and some challenging times on this drive.  When I arrived at my parents home I went into the room where my dad’s body laid.  After seeing his lifeless body the enormity and cold reality of the finality which death is came rushing over me.  As I walked past my mother and my uncles I went outside and fell on my knees crying and praying as I cried.  It was at this moment that the following words came rushing from my lips: “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” I didn’t know I had memorized that verse nor had hidden it in my heart, but when this great “push” of life came upon me that is what came flowing out.

The word’s of course were first spoken by Job after losing his children, and his wealth.

20 Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshiped. 21 And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” 22 In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. Job 1:20-22 (ESV)

The challenge which I and every Christian faces is being ready for whatever life may bring.  We don’t prepare for the big pushes of life, we are made ready daily by the indwelling power of His Spirit.