Satan’s modus operandi (a distinct pattern of operation that indicates or suggests the work of a single criminal in more than one crime) is to divide and conquer. He seeks to destroy the affection that husbands have for their wife and the affection which a wife has for her husband. As a Christian man it is prudent that I understand Satan’s method of attack and also that I become aware that my marriage is going to be a target of his attack. Too many Christians are blissfully ignorant that Satan would attack their marriage. To each and every married Christian I carefully and boldly declare; WATCH OUT!
You have an enemy in this world and it is not your spouse, it is Satan.
8 Be sober! Be on the alert! Your adversary the Devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour. 9 Resist him, firm in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are being experienced by your brothers in the world. 1 Peter 5:8–9 (HCSB)
The chief means for resisting Satan as a godly man is to obey Christ. In particular every married Christian man needs to obey the command to love your wife as Christ loved the Church.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22–33 (ESV)
Did you get that? You are to love your wife and the pattern for your love of her is Christ’s love for His church. Wow! Does Christ ever quit loving His bride the church? No! So I am to keep loving my bride. I am to love her as I love myself. If you do not love yourself then you are also disobeying the second part of the second commandment.
36 “Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”37 He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. 38 This is the greatest and most important commandment. 39 The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. 40 All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36–40 (HCSB)
Unfortunately many men whose life does not turn out as they had planned become bitter. This bitterness will sometime turn inward and develop into self loathing. Other times this bitterness is directed outward and poisons all other relationships. Men in particular need to know that they are much more than the sum of their 401k or of the things they have accumulated. True success is measured by submitting to God’s will for your life.
If you are married, you can rest assured that one part of God’s perfect and permissive will for you life is that you love your wife. Love is a choice. You can choose to be in love or out of love. Satan wants you to believe the lie that people fall in and out of love and that there is nothing you can do about it. That is asinine (extremely stupid or foolish)! You chose, courted and proposed to your wife. During the course of your courtship you loved her. Any negative changes to your feelings are within your and her power to alter. Your feelings are certainly under God’s authority. If you find yourself feeling less love for your wife than you once did, then confess. Ask God to increase your love for your wife. Ask God to protect your marriage from Satan’s attack.
As a Christian man you need to understand that by loving and supporting your wife you are giving your children a godly example. Satan knows this and he is fighting you, and will to continue to fight you on the home front. He always seeks to divide then conquer. If he can keep you preferring to be away working, because you think providing things for your family is how you love them, then he wins. Please understand that your wife and kids need less stuff and more of you! There is no substitute for quality time and you can never know when quality time will occur, you cannot schedule it. Therefore give your wife and children quantity time and the quality time will take care of itself.
I find myself fighting some of these things. I know that he is there and I also know that he will provide for us. At the same time I feel that if I don’t work and make all the money I can then I fail. I need to learn how to put this thinking aside and let Him take total control of our life.